ARTISTIC? I'D DESCRIBE MYSELF MORE AS 'ARTASTIC'

My Christmas present. Absolutely bangin youth! ya done know etc

I did this a while ago, i dont know why i wrote 'fucked in the head' on the gent with receders grill, maybe he just looked like a wrongun.



In other news i am in the process of learning to talk like a west indian yardie, im gunning to be the only white west indian o.g. jesmond yardie in the whole of newcastle.

Im listening to a lot of dubstep to prepare myself.

Ive realised dubstep is like some sort of rubbish urban radiography to remove the cancer of liking good music from my sensiblilities and replacing this part of my brain with a voice that tells me that i should act like a complete fucking doylem from 'life and lyrics' or whatever, even though i was raised in a northern city known for its bread cakes and fishquay fesitivals.

this will fully prepare myself from listening to nothing but elephantman outside le beado on Acorn Rd.

"Fair point youth, fair point, straight up gully yah?"

NEARLY SANTAS BIRTHDAY

In other news i got my dad some socks for christmas and have a bit of a rash on my arms

merry eczmas! HOHOHOSNAP!(sound of bucket being kicked away and neck being rendered from spine)

PETER SUTCLIFFE IN RUNNING TO WIN X FACTOR SHOCK!

Yet another poorly scanned peice of drawing, the quote above it is nicked from Seymore Skinners alter-ego Armin Tamzarian, im sure he too 'steams a good ham'.



This is my friend Owain, he was once arrested for piracy (not selling hookey copies of 'the note book' in the pubs of Walker, real life shiver me timbers piracy) he has poorly balls so keep him in your thoughts.




A large stuffed animal near a lorry depot in Gateshead.

THE CHUGGY SON OF GOD

All hail Teesus

THINGS FOR HEADS

Some stuff i did a while ago that might as well go on here..




Fit girls with skulls for heads! Yeah thats never been done!




And finally something else i did for a flyer that i scanned in amateurishly. I might even bite the bullet and learn how to use Illustrator soon, YOWZAH!

HES TRICKED THE GOALTENDER!

Some truly innovative goal celebrations from the world of soccerball.

Temuri Ketsbaia, A Georgian lunatic who hates maccy Ds and now manages a major Greek team


Dunno who this is but its awesome


As is this


Finally the man Tino Asprilla, Tino was my favourite player for a long time, he had the air of a villain in a Steve Segal film, constantly looked guilty and possibly hunted down catholic priests for sport in 50s South America (possibly)
I think he directed City of God too. He was also amazing at soccerball.

PROF. LONGHAIR

Professor Longhair was a very odd bluesman from New Orleans, he played honkytonk piano and wore a turban. Sultry downs-syndrome warbler Lily Allen used the hook from 'big chief' in one of her hits. Check out 'crawfish fiesta'.

Alternatively dont and just watch X-factor instead.

THE GREAT OUTDOORS

Dont let all this art shite fool you im actually really tasty, roundhouse-kicks and everything.

THE NINETIES.

Maybe its just middle class white boys perogitive but ive always been of the opinion that hip hop was at its best during the 90's. Solid hooks etc and people actually being good at rapping rather thanblahblahwankgobbleblah[insert usual whinge commonplace in music circles about 'contemporary urban music' being utterly vacuous for a myriad of reasons here]wankwankblah. The fact that the best big uk rap prospect since..well pretty much ever has had to make it properly mainstream by making awful hip house records says a lot.





OC



Kool G Rap



Camp Lo

ZACH BRAHF? CHOKEWANKED TO DEATH? BY SLAVEKIDS!?!

Road to nowhere (or Spital tongues, slightly less poetic)




A Nike box i drew on, CHECK ME OUT AND CHILL!



Finally, me and former AC Milan midfielder Bish have a new rowing machine, we are probably going to enter some sort of mixed-race triathalon. If such an event exists we will win it. MARK MY WORDS WE WILL WIN IT. Heres a nice picture of Bish sacking his own mum from his textile factory whilst converting carbs.

MY FAVOURITE TRAMP.

I actually forgot to put this on earlier, this is a picture i did a while ago for a flyer of my favourite tramp in Newcastle, he goes by lots of different names (none of them i remember) but hes always struck me a quite the gent, ive never seen him geting lairy and he always seems to 'keep it real' (i suppose its pretty much a prerequisite of the outdoor lifestyle) Hes eating a record because im all hip and that (got my own blog and everything)

VARIOUS BLURRY PHOTOGRAPHS OF PEICES OF PAPER

And finally a bit of wor Popeye, my favourite cartoon character barring that kid who looked like Carlos Tevez off 'mysterious cities of gold'
I think this cartoon was made in the 30s or 40s but its still pretty mindblowing today, hats of to you Dave Fleischer
(or whats left of you seeing as you've probably been dead for around 30 years)

FAKE LOMO

GORBLIMEY GUVNOR WHAT A PALARVA! APPLES AND PEARS ETC







ROUNDED OF WITH A NICE BIRRA GOYA

MORE TALES FROM THE CRYPT

COASTAL

Went on a hunt round my dads 'hoarding room' at the coast, i'd love to get through all of it but i think weeks wouldnt be long enough, still found some interesting stuff




Derek Pell, one of the oddest books ive ever read.




I can think of a few people who'd want to get their filthy mits on the one above









A nice cup of tea safely smashed in and i was hurtling back to town through the picturesque suburbs of shiremoore and longbenton on Nexus' finest.

SONGS ABOUT SOLICITING

Everybody knows curb crawling is just a cheeky bit of fun

Heres is a nice picture of Claude Greengrass from ITVs 'Heartbeat'
Look! hes pretending to be a teacher and hes lying to a group of foreign
students who are trying to learn English. Hes teaching them swearwords.
What a dick.