JOAN RIVERS PHOENIX

WATT TYLER DURDEN

I need to buy a scanner.


In other news we are all fucked.

JORDANS BABY PLAYS FOR SPURS

I have a show on high bridge street in newcastle. Proof.











FEZ LYF





This is actually in Walker







Watch this video then scream at your mum if you live with her, or just watch it cos its a good video.

"TORA TORA TORA THIS IS DEREK ACORA!"

Dance with the devil


In the pale Acunelight

PEPSI MAX BRANNING

Sugar Ray Robinson, whos daughter Miley Cyrus is currently making major waves in the pop scene




Don Carlos, the lyric should really be 'pass me the laser beam, and let me wipe out the number 31 bus driver by blinding him from the back of a Range Rover on Gosforth high street while my mums on the school run'

"I CAN PLAY THE KAOSS PAD", JUST PACK IT ALL IN NOW.

Go to the new Eldon square and complain about the fact there is a global state of emergency in Haiti yet we need two Top Shops, you fucking hippie.

MR SCRUFF IS A SHITTY CUNT.

I have certain problems with mr Scruff, the main one being the fact that from what i gather he makes a musical equivilent of Adrian Chiles opus 'the one show', incredibly inoffensive 'magazine' music, watered down parodies of tunes by true one offs such as Moondog (a faux scandinavian tramp who lived in New York and was one of the only truly off the wall composers of the 20th century, up there with Sun Ra in terms of being mad as a box of frogs and incredibly gifted) and puts them on homebase adverts. "Wow this new Mr Scruff song is really jumping isnt it guys" the utter doylems in certain hypocritical all welcome apart from people we dont like nightclubs cry, as a mad blind bastard turns in his grave.

Dont worry Moondog, you may have once been the viking of sixth avenue but at least you can now go and haunt Natwest.


My other problem with mr scruff is i heard he murdered ten people and is a crap nu jazz moby.













Coltrane Getz and Oscar Peterson, like some sort of 3-way Jazz Legion of Doom.




im off to darn my beret and eat some fucking onions.




(N.B. Mr Scuff probably didnt kill 10 people, so dont write in to the daily mail and stick it on the end of a letter about immigrants or anything)